LittleMissOddball

It was 8 in the evening when I stumbled through our front door in search for a place to lay a weary man’s head. The nearest couch was a few steps away from the side of the door, but my knees could barely carry my weight all the way there. Relief surged through my body when I felt the warm soft cushions slowly enveloping me. I didn’t even bother to hang my coat on the coat rack and just threw it on the floor next to me. My eyes were beginning to shut and I could feel myself succumb to the ghost of sleep when I felt a shadow loom over me. My eyes shot open revealing an unknown figure. I raised my hand to push against the body but it caught me by the wrist. I still couldn’t see his face but the familiar deep baritone voice and the way it addressed me made it all too easy to recognize who it was.

“Young master, you’ll catch a cold if you sleep here.”

My eyes were starting to make out who it was. “Nino?” I asked.

“Let me escort you to your room, sir. “ He spoke to me as if in a whisper, his hand still holding my wrist and supporting my weight. “Can you stand on your own, sir?”

I tried to stand but ended up back on the floor. Damn it, my legs felt like jelly. I wonder why I was so tired.

“Please excuse me, sir.” And with one fell swoop, I was off the floor, being carried bridal style by Nino. My ears turned red at the intrusion of privacy, and my heart was racing, I could literally hear the beats in the ears. I turned red even more when I realized Nino could probably feel it too.

“W-W-W-What are you doing, stupid attendant!?” I stammered as I managed to get the words out. “Put me down right now!”

“I can’t do that sir.”

“A-And why’s that?! Put me down, you little shit! That’s an order!” I was struggling, squirming to get away from this despite the knowledge of dropping to tiled floors.

“I can’t do that. Now please stop struggling.” He started walking towards the stairs, still carrying me, his arms supporting me and one of them carrying my briefcase

Shit, if he doesn’t put me down, my heart won’t be able to take much more.

My body went rigid and I calmed down and no longer squirmed. Apparently, Nino was surprised by my sudden change in attitude and stopped just before he could take the first step on the stairs.

“Young master?”

“Put me down.”

“Sir?”

“PUT. ME. DOWN.” I ordered, raising my voice to a minimum but enough to make him submit. “NOW.”

He looked at me in contemplation whether to listen to me or to disobey me. I remained my eyes on him, giving him that threatening look.

But he stubbornly goes for the latter. “That’s not going to work, young master.”

“You fucking idiot, are you even listening to me?!” With the entire ruckus I was making, I was sure to awaken any sleeping servant or at least my father. I’ve never been glad to know my father was somewhere overseas. When he didn’t reply to me, I started struggling again. “You’re always like this! You never EVER listen to me!”

I think I must’ve pressed the wrong button when his eyes suddenly turned into a dangerous kind of glare. I didn’t need to ask him, if he was mad at me.

His eyes were enough to tell me so.

Suddenly, we were striding past doors and hallways in great speed. I could tell we were heading for my bedroom. When the door of my chamber came into view, Nino opened the door with strength and threw me to the bed, the sound of foam sinking under my weight and the ruffling of my blanket was all I heard before he climbed onto my bed, slowly taking off his vest and undoing his tie. He was mad. He was furious. But why?

“Idiot! You could’ve broken my door!” Before I could retaliate any further his body loomed over me, his eyes still piercing and mad. One moment he was just on top of me, holding my wrists down with his hands and my body held down by his own. “The hell is wrong with you--?!”

“I’m sorry for not listening, YOUNG MASTER.” The tone with which he used to emphasize the last two words was a tone of someone who had his last nerves of steel ripped apart forcefully mixed with malice and an animalistic growl that uncannily reminded me of my dinner companion tonight. “Unfortunately for you, I will not be listening to your demands any time in the future.”

I tried kicking him but my legs had now way as he was still holding me down as he lowered himself on me and clashed our mouths together. “Not now. Not ever.”

I tried to struggle against him, but he bit my lower lip and I let out a sound much that of a moan. I felt his tongue meet mine and they were locked in a dance. He released me and glared at me. “It’s no use struggling, Sho. You know you’ve wanted this.” I shuddered as the name rang in my ears.

He called me by my name. He called me ‘Sho’.

As his hands starting to roam over me, undoing my tie and taking my buttons off, he moved his tongue away from me and started licking my ears. I squirmed underneath him, trying to keep his attention away from the obvious growing bulge down there. He moved his tongue lower and started licking and peppering my neck with kisses.

“Ow! Stop this...mmh...Nino....No...S-Stop it---ah!” He moved his attention to my nipples, erect from the continuous torture he was doing to my neck. One hand tweaked my right side and the other made its way down to the bulge in my pants, slowly caressing it. My eyes started to tear up as he continued his ministrations. My mind was now blank. Then I realized my hands were now freed and were gripping the sheets. I slowly lifted one up and gave him a good slap.

He stopped. We were both panting, sweat trickling down our skin. Now that he had let me go, my mind wandered to what he had said.

“You know you’ve wanted this.”

I did. I do.

But not like this.

He just stared at me and then shuffled off the bed to retrieve my coat. He draped it over my shoulder and then turned his back at me.

After he had nearly raped me, he just turned his back on me. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I needed to be alone. Gripping the side of my coat, I scrambled off my bed and darted past him. I went for the door but stopped to give him my words of disgust.



How nostalgic. It was like I was reliving the night I nearly lost a friend. I was running this way, not caring where my feet would take me. I just ran and ran. The fatigue that took over my body felt as if it had dissipated completely. I was breathing heavily as I ran. I continued until I couldn’t anymore and stopped to take a breather. When I had completely recovered, I realized I had come to the labyrinth of plants I used to play in with Nino, barefoot and only with my coat draped over me.

I walked in through the maze as my mind wandered off back to the days of youth when I would play hide and seek with Nino and our servants. In the hot day, after playing too much with water guns, we would be greeted with a cheerful old Michael with scones and cold juices. And then we would play again, this time with the water hoses. I would recall the mess we made of Mrs. Dolby’s precious daisy patch after we stumbled into it while re enacting the historic Civil War we had just learned from class.

Those were such good times.

I looked to the ground and returned to the scene I left inside. Nino had such a sad look on his face. I know that face. He doesn’t shot it often, but I knew he was hurt, and regretting what he had done to me. And frankly, he was right. I had wanted that. I wanted him to take me away from that horrid place and bring me somewhere else where the Sakurai name had nothing to do with anyone.

We could live a normal life, toiling for our everyday food and working our hardest in normal jobs. It sounded a lot more pleasant than the supposedly comfortable life I had.

Maybe I should go back inside. Tell him what I really felt and then tonight, we could go sneak out the back door with a few cash in hand and all our necessary belongings.

I spun around, ready to run back to the mansion when suddenly from behind me, arms wrapped around my waist and a handkerchief was immediately on my mouth. It must’ve been something sprayed on the handkerchief because the moment I inhaled, my head started spinning and then darkness.

Nino remained at in the mansion and remained my attendant; he studied in the same school as I did until high school.

Being in the family of the Sakurai meant all male servants and attendants would be part of running our empire and thus, Nino was opted to study in the Business Management sister school of mine, Keio University: Hiyoshi Campus. As for me, my father decided I take up politics and put me up to study in Keio University: Mita Campus. If I were still the young me, I would’ve been crying in Nino’s arms and begging my father to let him study in the same school as me.

Now, for the first time in a long time, my father actually does me a favor.

Being in separate schools meant, I couldn’t have time to Nino. We wouldn’t be seeing each other except when really needed. The necessary times increased right after the death of Michael, though. But even with his death, nothing changed.

Our relationship had gone as stale as our long ago friendship.

However, as an effect to the cause, both of us left our college lives with flying colors. And while the hostility is there, I would be helping him out in running the businesses, and he would with my schedules, in spite of our heavy burdens.

I just wanted it to remain this way. True I was still bitter, I didn’t want this to go on, and I wanted so much to be friends with him again. But if I did that, I would be sacrificing the many years I’ve held myself back.

Yes this was fine.

I was fine.

“Sir, are you listening?”

“Ah, sorry, I had other things on my mind. Could you repeat that?”

Nino closed his notebook and sighed. “Sir, I’ve repeated it to you 3 times already. You must learn to remove such things from your mind during your briefings.”

“I get it. Nino.” I snapped. “Now repeat that. I’m listening already.”

Not that he’s changed though. The bratty tone in his voice still remained.

“Please listen this time. At 10:00 there’s a cocktail party at Matsumoto Manor, It’s to celebrate Mr. Matsumoto’s son’s engagement into the Satoshi Family. Remember that this will seal the business partnership between the Matsumoto Corp and the Satoshi Holdings. 11:00, you will be speaking at the opening of the new Bank and attending it’s Induction Ceremony. After which you will proceed to the main branch office, where your father would like to speak to you. “

“No doubt to ask for more ‘hands’”

“You’re hands are thoroughly appreciated. “

“Continue.”

“The rest of the day until 6:00pm will be a time of planning for your next campaign. The election period is right around the corner. I’ve already spoken to your campaign officers. They will be here at 12:30, therefore it will be a lunch meeting. That is all.”

“What’s going on at 6:00?”

“A dinner. With Mr. Masaki.”

“Oh shit. I forgot about that.”

Aiba Masaki is our family’s business partner and somewhat rival in the political world. You could say we have a love hate relationship.

Well, who can blame me? After they nearly bankrupted us thanks to the late Masaki, Aiba’s father, nearly running off with our business deal, it’s no wonder father has been wary of them. It took us months trying to track him, which meant putting all operations on hold. Glad to know Nino was around, or without him, no one would be left to take charge.

We found him off the coast of Sta. Monica his bankbook in hand and wallowing in the smell of women, booze and rotting flesh.

No liabilities but the Masaki Corp shut down temporarily.

That was two years ago, until suddenly a Masaki emerged from the dark and became my rival for the position of Mayor. I won by a landslide, but there was a rise of business partnership deals between ours and the Masaki’s. At first, father was reluctant to give in to the deal. But after a few more pushes, father agreed and now we have yet another business friendship.

I, for one, would rather not see the young man’s face. First of all because I can no longer trust him, and I felt bad for Nino taking care of me at the same time running the company, it wore him out greatly, and I worried for him. Second, he had this ridiculous smile that never seemed to leave his face, making it impossible for me to read his expression and what he was thinking.

Moreover, every time I looked at him, he reminded me of Nino’s smile, which I rarely saw nowadays.



I was in my room fitting my tuxedoes when Nino came in, his notebook still in hand. “Good work today, Sir. The car is ready for you anytime.”

“Thanks.” I grabbed my coat and strode past him and started walking towards the car, him walking behind me.

The ride to the restaurant was silent. We sat next to each other, but neither of us said a word. All the resounded was the sound of the roaring engine and the sound of cutting wind. I looked out the window, watching the city lights and passerby's blur.

We’re like kids.

“H-Hey. You’re coming along?”

“Am I needed?”

“Well if you want to.”

“That’s not for me to decide, young master.”

You sneak! You said that on purpose!

“Fine. Then you can stay here. “

“As you wish.”

I hate this about you. Nino. Don’t you know how to read the situation anymore?

Or are you just holding back?

I seriously wanted to scream the chauffer to drive faster. The ride was taking too long and when we did get there I thought I would heave a sigh of relief.

Nino stayed behind and I made my way to my upstairs where I was greeted by an obnoxious smiling idiot waving at me at the far end of the resto.

“Sho-chan!”

You’re too loud idiot.

As I made way to him, something nagged me at the back of my head.

I don’t know. Somehow, I felt something ominous fill the air.

“Have a seat~!”

And that tone didn’t make it any better either.

He stood alongside the staff in charge of the concert, thoroughly discussing and exchanging ideas for the plans for their upcoming concert. They were quite engrossed with their talks while the hustle and bustle of staffs ran past them carrying wires, double and triple checking the already dealt with plans and audio visuals. Some carried with them the props and the clothes the five men that made the top idol group would be wearing in three days. Jun looked up from the paper in his hand surveying the area. He and the in-charge stood right in the middle of the concert grounds down by the stage and checking every 360 more than just a couple of times.



He glanced back to his clipboard, again engrossed with and scribbling in it, when two familiar and cheerful voices began to reach his ears getting closer and closer. He moved to one side and as he moved a figure came into view just an inch from where Jun stood where now the figure was standing in between Jun and the in-charge.



“Oh! MatsuJun!” the cheerful man that had entered the picture flung his arm over Jun’s shoulder and glancing at the clipboard Jun has been holding. “Are these the final adjustments?”



“Yes. We’re just making a few minor changes to it. Some songs in particular.”

“Mm. I see.” as he spoke he took the clipboard from Jun’s hands and scanned it as well. He moved his eyes from the clipboard to Jun, to whom he gave his warmest smile. He patted the younger one’s head. “You’ve been working hard. Don’t forget to rest once in a while, okay?”



Jun let a small smile cross his face and took the clipboard from the other’s hand. “Thanks Aiba. I’m actually planning to go home early today. If you want, we could go back to the hotel together.”



“Oh...actually about that...”

“Aiba-kun!”



A deep yet feminine voice came from a different direction, from a sloppy shouldered gentlman in his 30’s running toward them.



“Sho-chan~!” Aiba beamed at the newly arrived member. “I thought you were following me.”



“Well I was taking pictures. But anyway, we should go. The shop closes at 8. Got your stuff already.” Sho handed Aiba a bulky green duffel bag which Aiba takes with glee.



“Thanks Sho-chan~!” he beamed. “You go ahead to the car. I’ll be right behind you.”

Sho nodded and turned to leave, flinging his bag over his shoulder and gestures a goodbye to Jun and Aiba. Once Sho was gone, Aiba turned to Jun and looked at him with eyes full of apology.



“Care to explain?”

“I’m sorry, Jun!” Aiba clapped his hands together to make a sorry gesture. “I completely forgot about our plans. Sho told me of this place where we could eat good food and I really wanted to try it out!”



“Mmhm.”

“It was a moment of weakness?”

Jun sighed. He took the clipboard and gently brought it to the top of Aiba’s head.



“I’ll let you off the hook, but you’re working overtime tomorrow.”

“YES SIR!”

Jun chuckled and dismissed the now frantic to leave Aiba. He dashed away, leaving Jun still stuck in the middle of the grounds, alone and with only his clipboard to accompany him. The staff in charge had left in the middle of the conversation to get something important but he wasn’t back yet. At a loss at what to do, as all that was left for planning were the effects and the lightings they needed for the night, Jun roamed the grounds to clear his head.





They had planned to work together tonight to finish up the final touches in which Aiba’s expertise was needed since his usual partner in crime, Nino was currently incapacitated. They had planned to stay overnight, just run to the hotel to get a few clothes and pull an all-nighter.



Yet that wasn’t what happened. Not tonight.

And this wasn’t the first.

One other time, they wanted to go song writing session, but Aiba canceled at the last minute with the excuse that he had gone to go Mario Cart Session with Nino. Or that other time with Riida, when they went fishing when he was supposed to be with Jun deciding where they would go for a variety show.



There were more, but Jun would always let it go, giving Aiba some extra work the next time. Aiba would come though, but the disappointment remained. It wasn’t easy handling things on his own, and usually it would be Aiba who was there cheering him on. Somehow, without realizing it, he had grown quite attached to the older male and regarded him as a very close friend, someone he could trust would come for him when he needed.



Apparently, he was the only one feeling that way. Especially now that it involved Sho whom Aiba had been getting quite chummy with lately.



It was disappointing. It hurt a bit. But what could he do against a friendship closer than friends? Maybe even more than friends. He simply sighed as he directed his eyes to the now blackening sky, stars slowly starting to spread throughout the horizon.







The preparation ended at exactly 3 in the morning and Jun was pretty much happy with all that had been done. He had done so much rechecking, he had used up much of his brain cells that all he really wanted to do was get in his room quickly and head straight for the shower so he could get some shut eye for tomorrow’s early morning rehearsals.



He entered his one-person hotel room. He threw his things down on the floor and reached for the closet when he hears a vibration coming from the outer pocket of his sports bag. Dismayed, he put back the towel in the hanger and reached for his phone. Checking the screen he sees Aiba’s caller ID. He swipes the answer button and places it to his ear.



“Hello?” he said slowly

“Hey MatsuJun~! Thank goodness you’re still awake! Ah, wait, I don’t think it’s a good thing isn’t it? It means you were at location until this ungodly hour? Ah, but then again I get to talk to you, right? I’m really at a loss for what to say here. Oh speaking of which---” Aiba’s voice echoed from the other line, quick and as energetic as ever, unaware he had been talking that fast. Jun grins a bit, thinking to himself how much it was so Aiba but after glancing at the clock, decides to cut in before he could begin to relate the events of the night into a novel.



“Aiba.”

“Oh. Was I too fast?”

“I thought I was talking to a gattling gun.”

The older male chuckles. “You know how I am.”



“And? What do you need? Make it quick. I only have a few hours left for a shut eye.” Jun had just wanted to escape from the conversation because for some reason he was now feeling a churning and angry feeling in his gut.



“Just wanted to check up on my MatsuJun who works so hard. I wanted to apologize for not being there tonight.”



Was what he heard right? Did Aiba just call him , “His MatsuJun”

Jun was glad he was only talking on the phone for had it been vis-a-vis, Aiba would most probably notice the red beginning to spread throughout his face, all the way to his ears. No matter how dense he could be.



“O-Oh. Is that all? That’s fine. I could do it alone anyway.”

“No. It’s not fine. And don’t even try to do it alone. No matter how good you are, I won’t let you do something like that. Not even as a joke.”



Jun fell silent. Why was Aiba being so nice to him? Did he really care that much for him?



“Why are you being so concerned? You have better things to concern yourself with.”

“Why? Because you’re my MatsuJun! You’re quite special, you know? And I like having you around, so I’d appreciate it if you took care of yourself more often, or you might end up hospitalized.”

“And so?”

“Well, I wouldn’t get to see you during events.”

“You have Sho.”

“Well yeah but...”

“...and Nino...”

“He’s...yeah..but...”

“...and Riida.”

“Where are you going with this Jun?”

“You don’t need me when you have the rest of them, right?” The room was silent and so was the to other side of the phone. It took a while for it to sink in but when it did, the only thought running through his mind was ending the call and burying himself in the sheets. He would tell the in-charge he was too tired from the previous night and never leave his room until it was perf time.



But Aiba wasn’t having any of that.



“Is this what I think it is?” Aiba’s voice had dropped a million tones lower and was now deeper, the kind of bedroom voice the usually cheerful moodmaker of Arashi rarely showed during appearances.



Jun is quick to deny. “No! It’s not what you think. I’m tired so I don’t know what I’m saying!”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Are you sure you’re not jealous?”

“Yes!”

“Are you alone in your room?”

“Yes!”

“Are you jealous?”

“Yes!”



“Thought so.”



Before Jun could even say a word, arms engulfed his body from behind, snaking past his shoulders and pulling him closer to a warmer bodily figure. Jun quickly swivels his head to look at who it was when the intruder’s hands took him by the back of his head and, before he could even let out a whelp, crashed their lips together. The kiss was slow and gentle, no tongue whatsoever. But it tasted of sweet and sour candy. It was soft and fluffy and Jun felt like he had been floating on clouds as the kiss continued.The kiss did not linger that long as their lips slowly disconnected and Jun was able to get a better view of who it was.



To hi surprise, it was Aiba’s warm smile he was looking at him. Right in front of him.



“Y-You-You...”

“Hm?”

“You kissed me?”

“You wanna do it again?” Aiba still had that ridiculous smile on his face, beaming at Jun like he had just won the lottery.

“No! Why!? How!? WHY!?”

“Oh who cares about the details, Jun? Let’s just kiss and kiss to get rid of that jealousy in your heart~!” Aiba pulled him into an even tighter embrace, nearly squeezing every last bit of air.

“Who told you I was jealous?! Why would I be jealous!? And why the hell would you wanna kiss me?!”

“Well that’s because I love you~!”



There it was again. Aiba toying with his feelings. He had just about had enough of the green idiot’s crazy schemes.

“Let go, you green idiot!” Jun struggled in the hold, but the older male had some great strength in his limbs and height that it was almost impossible to break free. Aiba took him by the chin and lifted his head, his black crystalline orbs staring at Jun as if it were penetrating his very soul. How did he even get in, when Jun made sure he had locked the door?!



“Stop being stubborn Jun.” Aiba crashed their lips together once again, this time, Aiba brought his tongue to Jun’s bottom lip, licking it and earning moan from the younger with which he found the chance to fully explore the moist cavern of Jun. The younger male was at a loss. Was this really happening? If this was a dream, then he’d rather hold on to this dream before it ends.



Deeper...deeper...Aiba’s tongue ran through until he had separated them once again, both of them panting.



“Hey Jun...” Aiba said slowly, taking Jun’s still heavily breathing face in his hands. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”



Jun still panting was barely able to get the words out. “Wh-what?”

“You’re the only I’ve ever kissed. And I love you. Forever.”



Jun forgot the fact that he was tired from all the kissing and blushed once again. He bowed his head down and beat Aiba’s chest gently. He stops and gazes up to him.



“Maybe I was jealous...just a little bit.”

“That makes me happy, MatsuJun.”

“Idiot.”

“Now, can we pick up where we left off?”

“...do I have a choice?”

“Nope. In fact you don’t. Not now. Not ever.”



As the kiss proceeded, the only thought that ran through his mind as Aiba held him through the night was to love Aiba so much and to be loved back so much is crime wasn’t it?

It felt like a hassle to get out of bed, but the aroma that floated inside my bedroom gave me enough reason to disobey my feet for once and actually go with my gut.

Dammit Nino, you left the door open on purpose.

Following the scent of meat and spices mingling with each other, I made my way to the dining room, Nino sitting on one end of the table and staring into blank space. He noticed me come in and stood up and made his way to the sink where all the utensils were. In the longest time I’ve known him, the expression he had on him was something I had seen countless of times.

Do you know something Nino? Something that would make you look at me with pity?

I ignored it and made my way inside, a smile wrapping my face. “Uwah, this looks great! Hey Nino, can I get a try? Ah shit, it’s hot. Hey Nino...” the words died in my throat when the sound of a heavy thud echoed throughout the room.

I didn’t want to continue. His back was turned to me and I couldn’t see his face, but I could pretty much tell he was crying. Inaudible, but for sure, the tears were there.

I moved to him as quietly as I could and wrapped him in my arms. He turned to me almost hitting my head leaning onto him, revealing his crying face. It was seriously ugly. But in the time since the incident, not even my family cried in front of me.

I smiled as I wiped away his tears. “This isn’t like you Ni...!”

And then he slapped me.

He slapped me with all the strength he could muster, and I tell you even without that strength, his hand alone would be enough to knock me to the floor.

“You idiot!”

I looked at him wide eyed. He was still crying, but his face showed anger, his teeth gritting each other. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?! I know you better than that, you dense airhead!”

“Nino...”

“You’re telling me everything right now, or so help me I will force it out of you, understand!?”

I struggled to get up.

“Answer up, fucktard!”

“O-okay! J-just, calm down, yeah? I’ll tell you everything.”

“Good.”

-------------------



Nino insisted we stayed somewhere comfortable as he wanted to ‘beat the crap out of me in case I left out any details’. Not that I was intending to. And it was going to be a novel, so I’d rather sit on the couch than bear the painful wooden chair.

We set the pot in the middle and I started.

“Where to start? There’s so much to go through. Let’s see...”

“How about you explain to me who is making you suffer this much.”

Wow, he saw through me. I sighed in defeat. “I wouldn’t say suffer, though. Let’s just say, reminiscent”

“Same thing.”

“My mom.”

“She didn’t...”

“No! If anything she was the kindest person there was. You know how I am? I’m her exact twin. Clumsy, air-headed, always had a smile on her face. She was the kind of person anyone would warm up to. No matter how bad the situation was, she’d just make a joke out of it, and everything would go back to normal.”

“She sounds great.”

“She was. It happened this December too; the day of my birthday, if I recall correctly. It was right after father left us for his woman. It had been going on and I had no knowledge, but mom knew all along. But she was still happy enough to celebrate with me. She made me this horrible cake that looked as bad as it tasted. God, it was terrifying, sometimes it still haunts my dreams.” I chuckled lightly. “But it was the best of all the best she’s ever made me. I’m glad it was, too. Because after that, she met Death.”

Nino wasn’t looking at me anymore. “Don’t look like that. I won’t continue you know.”

“But...”

“I’m telling you this because you asked me to. If you’re just going to be sad, I’d rather not rope you in my sadness.”

“Fine.” He looked at me, his eyes turning red and ready to cry. I laughed inwardly. “Continue.”

“According to what I was told, I was at home fast asleep, when my father’s sister called. My father had gone missing. She told mom to help them find her, as she knew him more than his own mistress did. The mistress had gone missing too. They suspected she was just in it for my dad’s money. Anyway, my mom being the idiot in love she was, left. She took the car and drove out. It was snowing so hard too, so you could pretty much guess what happened. “

The figure in front of me looked like he wanted to say something but clamped his mouth shut. I was near to crying as well but was trying to keep it in.

“The next morning what greeted me wasn’t the heavenly smell of Christmas breakfast. No music. No shouting, telling me to come down before she ate it all up. Nothing. I was alone in this house with only the cold December to keep me company. Well until my relatives came by, that is. The afternoon of the same day was the funeral. Everyone of my family was there, but I could care less. Coming to this house was something I thought against. Time and time again I wanted to leave but I couldn’t. How could I? When I can still hear the faint voice of my mother sweetly calling me, telling me she loved me and to always smile for her. I couldn’t leave that alone. So what else do I do? Well...act like nothing happened. Smile like she always did. That would’ve made her happy. I nearly broke down at times to, but I didn’t.”

“WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Hey Nino, don’t raise your voice like that.” He stomped his hands on the table so hard I thought that pot would go flying.

“You should’ve! And you’re wrong! She wouldn’t be happy seeing her son suffering all by himself!”

“What?! What do you know about my mother?! You don’t know what she would want!”

“And you’re not her either! Stop trying to think for others because it’s not right!”

“What are you trying to tell me, huh? That I live everyday showing the world how pitiful I’ve become?” My voice had become unstoppable it had come to the point where I was screaming.

I had finally burst.

“My mom suffered most of her life. She was disowned by her family. She loved a man that left her and got killed for it. But until her very death, she was still smiling! I just did what she would do! Is that so wrong!?”

“She had YOU!” Nino screamed at me, cutting me off. He was standing adjacent to me, tears now rolling down his cheeks. “She had the strength to go on. She smiled for you! She wanted you to smile for others. What you’re doing is hiding yourself in masks just to hide your own sadness. You’re not smiling for others, you’re smiling for yourself. “

I fell silent. Was that really what she thought? Had I been wrong all this time?

“Pretending you’re not sad; forgetting what happened; you’re not just an airhead, you’re also stupid. Holding it all in, when you’ve got me! How can you be so insensitive! You think I don’t know it? Do you seriously think I don’t see how fake those curves on your mouth are? Other people can fall for it, but not me Aiba. I thought you knew me better than that. I hate your smiles the most. “

The room fell silent. I couldn’t say anything, and Nino was still standing, shivering. The last thing he told me echoed in my ears and it hurt. Just when I thought I had the perfect mask, it was torn down by something I had not understood. I felt the dam burst inside of me and I was screaming and crying, clutching onto my heart as if it were some fragile piece of gem.

“Aiba, you are an airhead.” Nino had positioned himself beside me and pulled me into an embrace. “There, there.”

We just sat there. I was still crying, Nino still held me and when I did, I looked at him, and he gave my forehead a small peck. “Tonight I’ll keep you company. So please, smile for me. Smile with all your heart.”

His face moved closer and we were locked in a kiss. Slow and gentle. The next we were in my room, the moon shining on our bare skin as we held each other.

That night, the untouched nikujaga growing cold by the second was the least of our concerns.

And for once, I wouldn’t be alone on a cold December night.

When I wake up, there would be someone beside me, smiling at me, and ready to greet me a happy birthday.

(Christmas Day, 5:00 pm...)

“Happiness is useless. It’s fickle. Anyone can affect it; anyone can give it; anyone can take it away. It’s the worst thing in the world.”

I stared at the phrase and felt the tears well up in the corner of my eyes.

My mother’s funeral had just ended and I was left alone in the attic of the small bungalow house that used to be full of joy and heavenly aromas enveloping it.

I was reluctant to come back. I sat, silently staring out the window during the ride back, the back of my head starting to form means of escape so as to avoid reaching our destination.

Part of me told myself that that place no longer held any significance to anything anymore and would rather see it turn to rubble.

But that was just me dismissing the fact that I just didn’t want to bask in the memories that seemed to linger in every corner.



But here I was. Downtrodden enough not to notice the December chills passing through holes on the ceiling or my stomach complaining and going through my mother’s Chest of Joy, or so she called it.

I would never forget that giant chest. Two years ago, I ventured into the attic alone to look for books for donation when I stumbled upon it. I was young and believed in pirates and treasure chests. Intrigued, I tried to pry it open, but was stopped when my mother suddenly came trudging my way and gave me a good scolding. I nearly cried at the thought of all that gold just sitting there waiting for a young wannabe pirate to open it up and swim in it.

But I didn’t. As she flashed her smile, forgave me and led me downstairs, where my father waited with delicious egg omelettes. That was the last time the house was truly happy.

But as always, my mother, she wouldn’t let up.

Forgiving easily, believing in others. Always beaming with the biggest smile and spreading happiness, no matter how lonely she was.

Even when she was abandoned by her family.

Even when the man she thought truly loved her left her for someone else.

At night, before tucking me to bed she would tell me, “Happiness is the best thing in the world!”

Again and again, until she died, that’s all I ever heard from her.

I looked at the words scribbled on the dark leather notebook.

While the words were opposite to what she believed in, I had understood its purpose.

I put back the notebook inside the chest, closed the chest and left the attic.

Wearing the biggest smile a 7-year old could muster.





(2 Days Before Christmas, 9 years Later)



“...ba. Aiba. Aiba!”

I slowly opened my eyes breaking the connection between me and my dreamscape as my name echoed in my ears like an early rooster.

It’s that time of year, huh?



“You’ll get sick lying there.”

“Then get sick with me.” I patted the space to my right. “There’s still space to go around.”

“Maybe I should.” He moved closer and positioned himself beside me and let out a sigh. “Prof. Terror getting to you?”

“How dare that nutjob, just because he’s the same age as us. What did I do to deserve Sakurai Terror Prof? Someone kill me now.”

“But I like him. To think someone our age has become a college professor. He must be a genius.”

“Can we not press the subject? Moreover, who’s side are you on?!”

I chuckled lightly. “Sorry sorry.”

“Anyway, are you sure you want to do this today? You look beat, so we should reschedule. I have time next week. Or at least I think I do.”

I jerked upwards. “No way! We’ve been planning Mario Cart for months~! Don’t back out on me now!”

Nino looked at me in contemplation and heaved a sigh of defeat. “Just where do you get your energy from?”

Thinking my eyes would betray me at the words he spoke, I flashed the biggest smile I could. “Aha~! I have my means.” We both stood up and started walking home.



Nino and I have been friends since high school and we’ve done so much together. Sports, clubs, hobbies, you name it; all the way to college, we were inseparable. He knows me like the back of his hand.

He knows how I’m the joke of the party, the temperature riser. He knew how effortlessly air-headed I could be and how I can’t stand 2 seconds without tripping myself. He knows how much trouble I’d get myself into without him around.

What he doesn’t know is how ten-faced I am. How everyone falls for every mask I put on every single time.

And he also doesn’t know how tired I was trying to desperately deceive the person who sees through my every lie.